Dear Marian,

Hello Marian!

You know, none of these blog posts are ever supposed to be shown to you, but I always end up doing it anyway because I feel that these posts have so much truth, and convey my feels rather well, and I want you to know how I feel =]

I'm writing this right now, as you're picking up your tax papers - I hope all goes well and there's isn't much fighting between you and your dad!
There are a few things I want to say, and although there may not be much of a difference whether or not I say them, I'd still like to.



First of all, what you hear too much, but I want to say anyway - I love you! I love you hun, and I'm not letting go of you. Not before summer, not throughout college, not for my life. It's hard to put enough faith in someone to believe that they will never leave you - I'm not asking for that. I just want to reassure you as much as I can - I'm not going to "hit it and quit it" or move on to anyone else. I have found everything I could have ever hoped for in our relationship - far more than I expected I could find even when I found someone that I would marry. Which is one of the many reasons why I am absolutely positive I will never leave, and we will get married. I love you, not only in the sense that I care for and want you more than anybody else in the world, but that this love is one that will last. My definition of love includes unconditional and eternal devotion, and I love you.


My second point is something I mentioned earlier today. You shouldn't denounce yourself so much! If it's just nice to hear "You're not fat/ugly/etc" from me, then it's fine. However, you shouldn't take what you say yourself to heart. I don't think I've lied to you before (unless I was kidding) and I'm not lying to you right now: I think you're beautiful, I think you're smart, I think you have the best body I've ever seen in my life, and I can and will spend the rest of my life with you, the ideal woman for me, who I thought I would never find.


A third point I have - please avoid hurting yourself! I know you get annoyed with everything, and just don't think it's worth it, but in just a few months, we'll be together, without our parents. I'll do everything I can to keep you happy, and I really want to fulfill this dream we have of living together - not just for college, but for life. I know we can live a happy life together, so try to get through the hard times you may have now, I promise I'll make it up with us living happily together until we die, okay? <3



On to happier topics! I also want to say I love the way you want to look pretty for me. I find it really sweet of you, to spend your time and money to try and please me. I encourage you to do it! I love seeing you in pretty clothing, and it makes me happy that you would do that for me. I did want to mention another thing though, don't fret too much over it! As I hope you know very well by now, I like people depending on many more factors - most of which have nothing to do with physical appearances. Maybe I'm shallow, because I'm so critical and reject people as pretty so often. They'd have to be eye-poppingly beautiful before I could consider them attractive. However, that's because they don't meet anything else that I like about people. I wish I could put into words what each of these things are, so that you could understand why I love you so much. Unfortunately, there are too many, and when I try to put them into words, I feel that my words are so fake. You'll have to believe that I would choose you over any other woman, no matter how nice, how smart, how attractive, or how great she may claim to be in bed.


Ohhh, another thing I wanted to mention! Please, accept my compliments! I mean them! My compliment about your eyes and legs particularly - there maybe fat on your legs, there may be no pretty color in your eyes, but I love them and find them beautiful. Your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen in my life, and I mean that.

On a completely different topic altogether, I'm so I mention sex so much xD. I thoroughly enjoy the sex with you. I don't just see it as pleasure for myself, I see it as bonding time with you. There are two things I wanted to tell you - there's actually a reason I don't like the doggy position - I feel as though I'm dominating you and we are separating ourselves as a couple if we were to do that position. I know you like aggression and dominance, but I want to feel close to you more than anything. I want to see your face while I'm inside you, I want to feel as much of your body on mine as I possibly can.


Of course, I the doggy position is just an example - anything that seems TOO dominant or reduces the feeling of you on me gives me the same feeling. I feel like it becomes more dominance and submission than two lovers. On the other hand, I do find the position itself very hot, and I'd like to try it sometime (probably sometime soon haha). I just felt like expressing my opinion about it. Don't worry, I'm not forcing myself to do it because you want it, I just like feeling you on me too much to have doggy-style sex and have minimal contact xD


The second thing I wanted to mention kinda melded in with the first one. The reason I think of sex so much is because I love the bonding with you, not just for pleasure. You'll have to trust me on that one xD


Well, you've actually already gotten back from taxes, and I'm typing up this blog while you're online and chatting with me, which feels slightly awkward, so I'm going to stop. I'll probably link you to it in a few minutes, cause I like it when you read what I really feel in a huge, long rant. I hope you dont mind xD

I love you hun, forever and ever! <33